Tuesday, September 11, 2018


many will come!
Meditation from Mark 13 in the New Living Translation

Lord,
You shocked us all
when
You talked about an end
to all that we could see
that day at the temple.
temple gone.
to rubble.
nothing left at all.
nothing.
except a few stones
laying around.

“when?”
we asked, “when?”

“don’t be fooled,”
You said.

“there will be many
who
will come saying,
‘I am The Messiah!’
‘you all are looking for ME!’ ”

“they will be liars. every single
one
of them.”

“wars…
and more wars
will follow…
great evil will descend.
but
still this is not the time.
nor its end.”


“earthquakes, tidal waves,
famines, disease,
death…
all
these are only the
beginnings
of a great sorrow.”

Lord,
what had You seen?
what vision
had Your Abba given
You?
was it a nightmare
preceding one of those mornings
when we thought
You to be
unusually sober?
even downcast?

what had You seen?

knowing You,
i think You
held back some of
the worst of what
You’d seen.

was the horror You saw
in the dark
too terrible for words?
even Your words?
for our ears?



You went on
getting even more personal…

“watch out!
they will deliver you
all
to the courts.
to the jails.
people will beat
and harass you even at church.”

“you will be called
out
to be My witnesses
in front
of government officials.
of judges.
they
will demand that you
deny Me.”

“but first,
the Good News about Me
will be preached
to all people groups
all over the world.”

“now,
when they bring you
to trial…do
NOT fear…do
NOT worry about what
to say.
at those times,
simply
speak the truth
My Most Holy Spirit will give you.”


“it
will be so bad
that brothers will betray
their own brothers…
parents will condemn
their children to
death.
children
will do the same
to their own parents.”

“everyone
will hate you all.
because of Me.
everyone will hate
you all.
everyone.”

we
were stunned.
silent.
no words could
undo
the picture You’d painted for us.

You went on…

“when
you see Daniel’s vision
of absolute abomination
come true…
run away!
quickly!
hide!
death is coming!”

“leave quickly
or
you will not escape.
turn back
for nothing!”


“woe
to those women who are
pregnant
or nursing little ones
then.
great sadness.”

“pray to YaHWeH
that
this does not come in
the dead of winter
for everyone’s sake.”

“this time
will be worse
than anything else
in the long, horrible history
of the world.
its terror will be unique.”

“horror! terror
on every side.
no escape for even
the innocent.”

“YaHWeH, Himself
must step in to stop
the madness
before everyone is
exterminated.”

“remember,
don’t believe any of those
who claim
to have ‘The Answer.’ ”

“none
of them do.
all of them are liars.”


“I have told
this
to you all so you
can be ready for
this deepest grief.”

You did not stop
here:

“after all this trouble,
the sky will be
dark
by day and night.
gloom will
fall
upon everyone.”

“the cosmos,
itself
will shudder.”

“THEN…
everyone
will see The Son of Man
coming
from the sky
in absolute power.
in total glory.
everyone will know
WHO He is.
no mistake.”

“He will send out
His angels
to gather all His little
sisters and brothers
from all over
the planet…
even from Heaven itself.”



You pointed
to a nearby fig tree,

“look at that fig tree…
as Spring comes each year,
so do its first leaves
and
you know that
Summer’s figs will
soon follow…
so
take a lesson
from this tree…
when all this
begins
to happen…you can
KNOW
that The Son of Man
is very close
indeed…
He is knocking on Earth’s
door…
ready
to come in.”

“one
short generation’s life span
is all the time
this will take…”

“the mountains
will fall…
the sky
will fail…
but
MY WORDS will stand.
true.
forever true.
forever.”

“you all did ask Me,
‘when?’


“when?
the truth?
no one knows.
not the kings of earth.
not the angels of God.
not even I know.
only The Father.
He knows.”

“so
be on the lookout.
you simply
cannot know when
or
how all this
will happen.”

“it is like
a boss
going on a long
journey
leaving their employees behind
to run the business…
except
the ‘business’ is
His Own Home…
none of them
will know just
when
He will return.
don’t be caught
sleeping
on the job.

“stay awake.”
“eyes wide open.”
“alert!”
“look for Him!”
“wait!”
“be ready.”

Friday, February 20, 2015

Faith? Really? From the eyes of the weeping prostitute (Luke 7:36-50)



outcast…
that’s what i am.

no
respectable person
looks
me in the eyes.
in public.
sometimes not even in private.

i’d like
to say that i am okay
with being
alone.
but
i am not.

it’s
a kind of slow
death
pain stretched out for
no visible
reason.

it hurts.
deeply.
completely.

He was coming to town.
everyone
was talking about
Him.
not all good talk.

He’d healed a Gentile
a Roman servant…
is there
hope
for me in this?
perhaps?
maybe not…

another castoff
a widow
supposedly had her dead son
brought
back to life?!?

how
can that be true?

He’s here!
at Simon, the Pharisee’s
BIG house.

i’m going.
will
they let me in?
i don’t care.
i have
nothing.
to.
lose.

as I near
the doorway
i begin to weep.
my life crashes
down
into my deepest places.

is this YHWH’s Man?
i am nothing
to Him.
how could i be?

i cannot
stop my tears.
they’re washing the dirt
from His feet.
He looks
around and sees
me.
and
He smiles.

more tears.
so
many more.
i cannot stop.
i am a fool.
i do NOT care.

my hair
is down
i brush His
feet.
dry.

i break open
the alabaster jar
of perfume…
meant for His head.
it pours over
His feet
He
sees me.
with HIS OWN eyes.
someone…
someone finally
sees.
me.

people
are upset…
i’m used to that
but
someone seeing
me…
what do i do?

the Man
and Simon talk.
i cannot hear
them
over my sobbing.

it
doesn’t matter.
He.
sees.
me.

finally
He speaks words
to me.
“Your sins are forgiven!”

can
this be true?
how?

then…
“Your faith
has
made You whole.”
and…a gentle
“Shalom…”
“God’s Peace be on You!”

really?

faith? me?
no one
has ever accused me
of faith.

is faith
making a public fool
of myself?
i don't know.

this Man
is my only hope.
and
He sees me.

no
contempt.
only
love for a much loved
sister
comes
out of His eyes.

He.
sees.
me.

Friday, February 13, 2015

The problem with men…


The problem with men…
Is our fear…
Which leads to…
Us…
Having anger.
Being arrogant.
Acting at times like bastards.
And
Being unwilling to admit it.

Monday, February 9, 2015

alone no more - thoughts from the woman caught in adultery in John 8:1-11


alone.
interrupted.
hit and battered.
and cursed.
dragged
away with half my clothes.
to a public place.
a church.
a man
was teaching there.

interrupted
he looked at me.
i could not meet
his gaze.

publicly
accused I stood
guilty.
i looked no one
in the eyes.

angry
voices demanding
my
death.
shouting
for me to die.

he
bent over
scribbling in the
dirt.
ignoring us all.

i could not
tell
what he wrote.

the voices
grew louder.
angrier.
more insistent.
“stone her!”

still
he wrote intently.
not looking up.

then
he straightened
up.
they all quieted.
waiting.

 “first throw
goes
the sinless, the faultless
man!”

he bent over again.
writing.

i
was frightened.
waiting.
cringing.

i
looked up
seeing only him.

 “where are they
who shouted
out your guilt?”
he asked.
“is there no one
left
to damn you?”

i could barely
speak.
“none, Master.”

 “neither
do i condemn
you…
you can leave now
and…
don’t keep on doing
this.”

i
was free.
safe.

somehow
this man rescued
my heart
that day.

i’ll  follow Him.
anywhere.

Friday, July 26, 2013

radiant light (John 1:1-18 & Hebrews 1:1-4)




before light
was.
You burned with all
radiance
in perfect Life.
with
your Abba & the Most Holy Spirit.
Love.
so big it burst out
Light.
before light
was.

speaking
light was no big task
for the Radiant One.
except...
for Your Plan to
make
a people.
in Your Image.
made.
from dust
that had yet to
appear.

knowing
our rebellion.
how we would crush Your
Image
in us...
how deeply we would
grieve Your great
heart.
still
You made us.
from dust
that had yet to
appear.

but Light speaking out light
planned
to love over
the broken Image.
to mercify Your Self so
completely
that your heart
would sing
JOY.
with every one of us
who
could stand it.
one day.
coming soon.
unstoppable Love
unstoppable Life
unstoppable JOY.
forever.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

an easy death

at the end
of 33 years of following Your Abba
thru
the tangle of our sin-shattered world
our mangled lives
our broken bodies
our over-powered spirits
always giving in...to Your Abba's leading...
in word
in deed
in heart
after the dark-of-night-struggle
     with the enormous bulk of our sin-load...
after never really considering DIS-obeying
     Your Abba's lead...
after begging
     for another way
     for any other alternative...
the dying
was easy...
until the dark descended like a midnight
on Your heart & ours.
at noon.
then
the heart that always listened first
before speaking...
the soul that always watched Your Abba
for a clue before acting...
pushed thru the DARKest DARK
to offer up Your Own Spirit
to Your for--the-first-time-ever silent Abba
breaking 
the DARK.
our sin.
death.
into pieces.

our hosanna-prayer-hopes
came true.
real.
forevermore.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

i wonder #1

i wonder if our Lord turns our self-centeredness toward a better end by just “carrying on the conversation a bit”…even if it does end in Him saying, “just obey for now…understanding will come later?!?”

i wonder if isaiah was right when he says that YaHWeH bares His Mighty Arm (rolls up His sleeves) in order to save His people?

i wonder if our Lord REALLY loves us so much that his MAIN agenda might just be US?!?

i wonder if it is thru the conversation ITSELF…that our healing & growing up comes? regardless of immediate outcomes?

after all, if the big people in our lives do not stop to have conversation with us (even if it is frustrating to them) how can we learn to take “the next step” in life?

i guess our Lord’s “everlasting mercies & patience” comes in handy when He deals with us…eh?

i wonder if our Lord really IS there when we can neither sense Him or hear His Voice?

i wonder...

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

how hard #2...

“how hard,”
You said, “it is for a rich man
to enter YaHWeH’s kingdom.”

“the odds
are better for a camel
to get through a needle’s eye,”
You continued.

we laughed.
it was a comical image…
then
we quit laughing.
it wasn’t so funny anymore.
“Lord, who is there that CAN be saved?”
we asked.
You were quick to reply,
“God makes it possible.
there is no other way.”

really, Lord?
no OTHER way in…
than YaHWeH’s grace and mercy?
no great acts of charity can do it?

or
was that Your whole point, Lord?

at first we’d thought
You were asking the young man
to give up his money
as a sacrifice…
to earn YaHWeH’s notice…
His favor.

then
it dawned on us
that giving it ALL away
was the minimum
requirement
to join You on the road…
&
joining You, Lord,
is the ONLY way into the forever-kingdom
of YaHWeH…
the kingdom that
hums with LIFE…
full-on-LIFE!

(for the back-story
to this post...
see Mark 10:17-31)

Monday, September 27, 2010

how hard #1...

“how hard,”
You said, “it is for a rich man
to enter YaHWeH’s kingdom.”

“the odds
are better for a camel
to get through a needle’s eye,”
You continued.

we laughed.
it was a comical image…
then
we quit laughing.
it wasn’t so funny anymore.
“Lord, who is there that CAN be saved?”
we asked.
You were quick to reply,
“God makes it possible.
there is no other way.”

really, Lord?
no OTHER way in…
than YaHWeH’s grace and mercy?
no great acts of charity can do it?

or
was that Your whole point, Lord?

at first we’d thought
You were asking the young man
to give up his money
as a sacrifice…
to earn YaHWeH’s notice…
His favor.

then
it dawned on us
that giving it ALL away
was the minimum
requirement
to join You on the road…
&
joining You, Lord,
is the ONLY way into the forever-kingdom
of YaHWeH…
the kingdom that
hums with LIFE…
full-on-LIFE!

(for the back-story
to this post...
see Mark 10:17-31)

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

in his arms #3

big
people want blessings that are
quantifiable...
profitable...
&
usually impersonal.

why is this true, Lord?

is it
that mostly we don't want
to be bothered?
to be distracted?
to be handled?
or
is it as simple as the
fact
that we like to be
in control?

little
people LOVE being
handled...
held...
cuddled...

is that why You
pointed them out to us
as living pictures
of heaven?
of grace?

is that why You
insisted
on HOLDING them
as You pronounced GRACE
into their lives?

is our refusal
to stop
long enough for You
to hold us
close...
the main reason we
notice
so few of Your gifts
to us?

(for the back-story...
see Mark 10:13-16)

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

in His arms #2

big
people see things
differently
from little people.

You knew this, Lord...
so
is that why You stopped us
as we tried
to prevent Your words of
blessing
from being spoken?

big
people think words
are cheap...

little people
know
that words can kill
or
at least make them cry.

big
people curse
life...
&
other people...
&
barriers to their plans...
&
frustrating circumstances.

little people
haven't learned
yet
to curse
although they do know
frustration...
& sadly...
cursing will come easily
to their lips
soon enough.

Lord,
Your words of blessing
exposed
our "protection"
of Your "valuable time"
as the curses
they were.

heaven
loves blessing.

death
despises it.

(for the back-story...
see Mark 10:13-16)

Monday, September 20, 2010

in His arms

turned
away, Lord...
we turned them
away.

You stopped us in our
tracks
telling us that
they
were what heaven's
citizens
most resembled.

then
You held them
in Your arms
blessing
them & their lives.

squirmy
&
already dirty from their morning
travels...
they stopped their
movement
for a moment as
words
too strong for any of us
big people
to remember
much less comprehend
rolled
over their little heads.

then
once again full
of energy
they ran off to play.

heaven
stopped & noticed.
the cosmos-Maker
smiled.

indeed...
it was good!

(for the back-story...
see Mark 10:13-16 & Genesis 1:10 )

Thursday, May 27, 2010

little ears #2

they hear very well
those little
ears
hooked
to young minds
quick
to draw conclusions
to flinch
from us
at the sound of our
inner frustrations
boiling over.

we wish
no harm for them
in our irritations
in our momentary displeasures
spoken.

but
they do NOT know
our hearts...
all they know
is
the NOW
they inhabit.

so
we wound deeply
the little ones we
love.
the most.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

little ears #1

little ears
hear
our words
our tones of voice
BIG.
&
LOUD.
& LONG.

wounds great
&
embraces strong
both
are fruit of our
words
in little hearts
longing
to grow up.

help us, Lord,
to measure our tones
&
our words
to shape
well
those little hearts
that You give
to our care.

Friday, May 14, 2010

silence #7

is
it in silence,
that we learn
to grieve well?
to weep completely?
to find Your deepest
heart, Lord?

is this why You have
made
our nights to be so
quiet?

is
the night-silence
a place
where Your hearts speaks
most clearly?

why
is it that so many
other voices are so
loud?

fill our silence
with
Your heart.
You
will satisfy.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

silence #6

is
that what our conversation
is?
really?

is it
You
turning to us
so deeply that our hearts
cry
with words not
speakable
or
hearable?

is
it You, Lord,
Who has planted so
deep
in us this need to
talk with You?

is
grief one of the
surest roads to You?

do our tears
begin
in our hearts
only
after You weep them
first?

could
this be true?

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

silence #5

pages
turned on the dial
of our lives
by Your hand
bring no sense...
no words
readable with our
eyes...
or hearable
if even they could be
spoken.

the only words
we can truly hear
come
from inside us.
yet
even those
deep-inside words...
where do they come from?

did they begin
elsewhere?

in Your deep-inside,
Lord?

Monday, May 10, 2010

silence #4

since
You are not talking
in words
we can hear...
we listen in
vain...
or do we?

if
You have no hearable
words
for our ears, Lord...

are there any
words?
at all?
any where?
ever?

Sunday, May 9, 2010

silence #3

the heavens
shine day & night
with
no answer...
light
is all they can say.
light
is their language...
&
ours is life.

Your heavens
shine out the silence
so loudly we
cringe.

broken
we rest.

waiting.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

silence #2

why?

is there a reason
good enough?
or
big enough?
at all
understandable?

intelligence
&
wisdom fall short
in any answer
they can give.

words.
endless words
are not enough.
either.

still
we ask, "Why?"
"Why, Lord?"