Friday, February 20, 2015

Faith? Really? From the eyes of the weeping prostitute (Luke 7:36-50)



outcast…
that’s what i am.

no
respectable person
looks
me in the eyes.
in public.
sometimes not even in private.

i’d like
to say that i am okay
with being
alone.
but
i am not.

it’s
a kind of slow
death
pain stretched out for
no visible
reason.

it hurts.
deeply.
completely.

He was coming to town.
everyone
was talking about
Him.
not all good talk.

He’d healed a Gentile
a Roman servant…
is there
hope
for me in this?
perhaps?
maybe not…

another castoff
a widow
supposedly had her dead son
brought
back to life?!?

how
can that be true?

He’s here!
at Simon, the Pharisee’s
BIG house.

i’m going.
will
they let me in?
i don’t care.
i have
nothing.
to.
lose.

as I near
the doorway
i begin to weep.
my life crashes
down
into my deepest places.

is this YHWH’s Man?
i am nothing
to Him.
how could i be?

i cannot
stop my tears.
they’re washing the dirt
from His feet.
He looks
around and sees
me.
and
He smiles.

more tears.
so
many more.
i cannot stop.
i am a fool.
i do NOT care.

my hair
is down
i brush His
feet.
dry.

i break open
the alabaster jar
of perfume…
meant for His head.
it pours over
His feet
He
sees me.
with HIS OWN eyes.
someone…
someone finally
sees.
me.

people
are upset…
i’m used to that
but
someone seeing
me…
what do i do?

the Man
and Simon talk.
i cannot hear
them
over my sobbing.

it
doesn’t matter.
He.
sees.
me.

finally
He speaks words
to me.
“Your sins are forgiven!”

can
this be true?
how?

then…
“Your faith
has
made You whole.”
and…a gentle
“Shalom…”
“God’s Peace be on You!”

really?

faith? me?
no one
has ever accused me
of faith.

is faith
making a public fool
of myself?
i don't know.

this Man
is my only hope.
and
He sees me.

no
contempt.
only
love for a much loved
sister
comes
out of His eyes.

He.
sees.
me.

Friday, February 13, 2015

The problem with men…


The problem with men…
Is our fear…
Which leads to…
Us…
Having anger.
Being arrogant.
Acting at times like bastards.
And
Being unwilling to admit it.

Monday, February 9, 2015

alone no more - thoughts from the woman caught in adultery in John 8:1-11


alone.
interrupted.
hit and battered.
and cursed.
dragged
away with half my clothes.
to a public place.
a church.
a man
was teaching there.

interrupted
he looked at me.
i could not meet
his gaze.

publicly
accused I stood
guilty.
i looked no one
in the eyes.

angry
voices demanding
my
death.
shouting
for me to die.

he
bent over
scribbling in the
dirt.
ignoring us all.

i could not
tell
what he wrote.

the voices
grew louder.
angrier.
more insistent.
“stone her!”

still
he wrote intently.
not looking up.

then
he straightened
up.
they all quieted.
waiting.

 “first throw
goes
the sinless, the faultless
man!”

he bent over again.
writing.

i
was frightened.
waiting.
cringing.

i
looked up
seeing only him.

 “where are they
who shouted
out your guilt?”
he asked.
“is there no one
left
to damn you?”

i could barely
speak.
“none, Master.”

 “neither
do i condemn
you…
you can leave now
and…
don’t keep on doing
this.”

i
was free.
safe.

somehow
this man rescued
my heart
that day.

i’ll  follow Him.
anywhere.

Friday, July 26, 2013

radiant light (John 1:1-18 & Hebrews 1:1-4)




before light
was.
You burned with all
radiance
in perfect Life.
with
your Abba & the Most Holy Spirit.
Love.
so big it burst out
Light.
before light
was.

speaking
light was no big task
for the Radiant One.
except...
for Your Plan to
make
a people.
in Your Image.
made.
from dust
that had yet to
appear.

knowing
our rebellion.
how we would crush Your
Image
in us...
how deeply we would
grieve Your great
heart.
still
You made us.
from dust
that had yet to
appear.

but Light speaking out light
planned
to love over
the broken Image.
to mercify Your Self so
completely
that your heart
would sing
JOY.
with every one of us
who
could stand it.
one day.
coming soon.
unstoppable Love
unstoppable Life
unstoppable JOY.
forever.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

an easy death

at the end
of 33 years of following Your Abba
thru
the tangle of our sin-shattered world
our mangled lives
our broken bodies
our over-powered spirits
always giving in...to Your Abba's leading...
in word
in deed
in heart
after the dark-of-night-struggle
     with the enormous bulk of our sin-load...
after never really considering DIS-obeying
     Your Abba's lead...
after begging
     for another way
     for any other alternative...
the dying
was easy...
until the dark descended like a midnight
on Your heart & ours.
at noon.
then
the heart that always listened first
before speaking...
the soul that always watched Your Abba
for a clue before acting...
pushed thru the DARKest DARK
to offer up Your Own Spirit
to Your for--the-first-time-ever silent Abba
breaking 
the DARK.
our sin.
death.
into pieces.

our hosanna-prayer-hopes
came true.
real.
forevermore.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

i wonder #1

i wonder if our Lord turns our self-centeredness toward a better end by just “carrying on the conversation a bit”…even if it does end in Him saying, “just obey for now…understanding will come later?!?”

i wonder if isaiah was right when he says that YaHWeH bares His Mighty Arm (rolls up His sleeves) in order to save His people?

i wonder if our Lord REALLY loves us so much that his MAIN agenda might just be US?!?

i wonder if it is thru the conversation ITSELF…that our healing & growing up comes? regardless of immediate outcomes?

after all, if the big people in our lives do not stop to have conversation with us (even if it is frustrating to them) how can we learn to take “the next step” in life?

i guess our Lord’s “everlasting mercies & patience” comes in handy when He deals with us…eh?

i wonder if our Lord really IS there when we can neither sense Him or hear His Voice?

i wonder...

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

how hard #2...

“how hard,”
You said, “it is for a rich man
to enter YaHWeH’s kingdom.”

“the odds
are better for a camel
to get through a needle’s eye,”
You continued.

we laughed.
it was a comical image…
then
we quit laughing.
it wasn’t so funny anymore.
“Lord, who is there that CAN be saved?”
we asked.
You were quick to reply,
“God makes it possible.
there is no other way.”

really, Lord?
no OTHER way in…
than YaHWeH’s grace and mercy?
no great acts of charity can do it?

or
was that Your whole point, Lord?

at first we’d thought
You were asking the young man
to give up his money
as a sacrifice…
to earn YaHWeH’s notice…
His favor.

then
it dawned on us
that giving it ALL away
was the minimum
requirement
to join You on the road…
&
joining You, Lord,
is the ONLY way into the forever-kingdom
of YaHWeH…
the kingdom that
hums with LIFE…
full-on-LIFE!

(for the back-story
to this post...
see Mark 10:17-31)